Moofas

Sally sat at hunched over her laptop, belly full of Moofas and pondering the thought of Holy Tea.

Moofas= some crazy term her mother uses to describe "healthy fats" such as olive oil, almonds, flax oil...so on and so forth.

Holy tea= the most "too good to be true" tea scam I've ever heard of. Besides that it looks suspiciously similiar to "milk thistle" which is a great liver detoxifier, but I don't think it tackles this long and lengthy list:

• take inches off their belly and reduce fat everywhere (without dieting or giving up any favorite foods)
• feel more energy and enjoy life more
• restore mental clarity and improve memory diminished by too many toxins in the blood
• get relief from allergies and hay fever
• clean out pharmaceutical or recreational drug residues and heavy metals
• clean out nicotine and second-hand smoke deposits
• assist with a stop smoking program
• keep the colon, kidneys, liver, and lungs healthy and clean
• improve digestion and absorption of nutrients
• help detoxify chemicals created by parasites, fungi, yeast, and bad bacteria in the colon and digestive tract
• remove parasites such as worms and flukes from the colon
• help remove toxins from the blood, organs, and entire digestive system
• restore the natural balance of 80% probiotic bacteria to 20% yeast, to improve digestion and assimilation of nutrients
• restore regularity and reduce auto-intoxification
• end constipation, hard stools, and hemorrhoids
• help relieve digestive ailments such as Acid Reflux (GERD), Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), Crohn's Disease, Diverticulitis, Colitis
• clear skin conditions and body odor caused by internal toxins being excreted through sweat glands
• have skin which is healthy, soft, and younger-looking
• aid in reducing high LDL cholesterol and hypertension

I really think they may have taken the "detoxifying" list a tad bit too far, I mean this is just ridiculous. Colitis and hypertension, mixed in with some IBS?

Sally was immediately distracted by the one cat in the household that decided laying sprawled out smack dab in the center of the kitchen floor was not his idea of fun. Instead he's pacing around the house "moaning" as she calls it. It's a peculiar and half cute type of noise that resembles a purrr slash meow.

The cat is in heat. It makes sense. He's becoming a cat sans kitten and wants to entertain his manhood.

Wait no......he's fixed. Well because of this then he's just being annoying and acting immature.

Bad kitty. Baaaaaaad kitty.

OOOF! Sally's belly turns as her meditarrean pasta tries to settle.

"God damn moofas!" Sally mumbles to herself as she tries to shoo the psuedo in heat cat out of the dining room.

I guess it's time to face the sunshine and brave the last day of a Minnesota Spring.

.....................................................................................................................................................................

ps. I am working on compiling a cook book. :) Look for it soon. I'm gonna be the next up and coming Rachel Ray.

mmmm.hmmmmm.


ps. I'm buying a house soon. well fairly soon. like next 6 months soon.

YAY!

ps. I'm working six days/nights a week and work at Bulldog NE and Keegans Irish Pub both in NE minneapolis.

COME VISIT!

ps. Baxter still hates me.

:)

I've been a bad girl...

I'm definitely not posting daily.

Sorry Folks!

*Though I'm pretty sure I have no curious eyes and minds pining over my missing scribbles.*

She is So Not a Pear!

"She is so not a pear!!!"
"Yes...she is!!" I said with exasperation! " She has that full figured "lady figure" I said, wildly throwing my hands about in the familiar hour glass formation.
"She is not a pear!!" he says again, " That is so mean!"
"Well, She's not an apple!!" I said defensively of my previous conclusion. " She's full in the bottom, so she's a pear! It's widely known, I can't believe you don't know this..." I said shaking my head. "Seriously...pick up a crappy woman's mag and I'm sure you'll find something about body types."
"Wait, what do you mean an apple?" Todd said dumbfounded. "How the hell can anyone possibly look like an apple?"
" Well... I guess if you're an apple you have no hips...like me? Wait....no. I think I'm more like an upside down pear."
"What? You are NOT an upside down pear!!" Todd said chuckling.
" Well...I'm definitely not a pear, or an apple. I guess I could be a carrot." I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"oh god!! Todd said laughing. I can't believe we're even having this conversation...you are not a carrot. You're beautiful."
I smiled and we giggled a bit over how silly our conversations are sometimes.
I'm still pretty sure I'm a carrot or maybe a strawberry, but definitely Not a flippin pear. And I'm pretty sure i love that my boo bear and I can classify people as fruits and vegatables at any given random moment. Oh such Good times to be had rollin deep in the trusty Windstar.


ps. Due to my roomate emailing me the correct terms of bodytypes. I am a upside down Triangle.
See? I knew I was an upside down-something-or-other. :)

Random Scribbles to Curious eyes

bling.

blang.

bloop.

boo. diddley. doot.

la. la. fa. fa. say. di ray. mo.

love is lingering on your breath...
I can feel it wrap its arms around me...
holding me tightly.
forever.
you say.
forever.
I say.
magic.
one moments passing.
bliss in eternity
where two naked lovers dance across the sky.
in the mystic moonlight.
our souls enterwined within eachother
and we disappear into the shimmering twinkle of the stars prismed across the night sky....
to find eachother once again..
dance upon the moon.
mars.
neptune.
magic.
in one moments passing.
bliss in eternity.

bang. bang. doop.
biddley do dwop.
I say forever.
forever.
for
ever


dwop jones. making music. love to my ears. the rhythm makes me sway.
sway. sway
and I say Don't let that beat drop. Don't let that rythem stop. Cuz it makes me sway. sway. sway.

crack. click. tap. tap.
suga bang bang boo bop.

gotta love an endless circle. of the mind. When the ADHD takes control and I lose myself in a maddening fury of words.
spinning out tirelessly
as I can pick them out. one by one...
as if they're little fluffy white clouds..
floating by. I used to pretend this and that. popsicles and lollipops. Being young. to be young again...live your life like allison in her fairytale. In her wonderland. like dorthy and the Wizard. Skipping down the yellow brick road.
We all had a disaster to excape.

tumble down...down the stairs.
to the basement
the conciousness of the mind..
where all the secrets are kept
and you wonder why you came down here in the first place.
its dark. it's scary. the darkness looms over you, threatening to swallow you whole
and you wonder why you came down here in the first place.

bing. bang doodley bop.
skip and a jump and a diddley hop...

down to the merry go round..where the children play.
Where the sun shines and the sky is bright....
cherry drops. seat bombs. monkey bars and red rover.
remember? Remember the thrill of recess. The thrill of playing. The thrill of summer vacation?

Take a trip. in your mind.

boop boop da dwop.
let the words find you.
embrace you.
let the words tell your story.
tell your fantasies. secrets. hopes. fears.
scandelous secrets.
and let the world in.
let the world in.
so it begins.....

http://randomscribblestocuriouseyes.blogspot.com

ps. I am making it my daily goal this summer to brainstorm as you just witnessed/read and post daily.

Come witness the depths of my mind.

:)

Animoto fun!

The ode to De-fattying my cat.

I am trying to defatty my cat. I've been following the doctor's orders and feeding lil Baxter a third of a cup of kitty kibble once a day. I used to feed him close to two cups a day, by filling his small cup size bowl once in the morning and once at night. (And I thought I was doing the "right" thing by doing this routine for my lil kitty kat.) Turns out I was only endangering his life.
Awesome. *high five* Melissa. Way to kill your cat.

So I was explaining this to my two favorite old people tonight in the land of uniform houses and winding roads to mortgage hill, when my mother looked at me alarmed and said, " you know dear....we all know you eat nothing but crumbs...but imagine you if you went from that to not eating a thing for 3 days. Your poor lil kitties tummy is shock. No wonder he's cranky with you." My father of course chimed in his agreement making me feel twice the asshole. Not that I don't always feel like an asshole, but still...this was like, MEGA asshole status.

After giving away my food, to my "dieting" father, (I use parenthesis because this diet is not a choice my father made on his own, this was more like a mother-approved diet which is really a I'm dieting so you are too, move on my mothers part, and also a gateway to say," stop eating so much or I'm going to nag you everytime you stick something in your mouth because it makes me feel better kind of deal." Either way it's a lose lose situation for my father..and in one way literal...again by no choice of his own.

Anywho...I realized my parents were right...AGAIN. And maybe I should not be so swift in my de fattying of Mr. Baxter.

Tonight when I came home I found my kitty glaring at me from across the kitchen floor. I quickly went to my room, to hide from his guilt stare and the little bastard followed me, leaving me to turn around and find him staring up at me, ears flat back, eyes in "fierce kitty mode" <----I made that up. And you love it. I quickly remembered that Baxter is definitely NOT the kitty to piss off, so I went to the kitchen, pulled out the kitty kibble, fought off all 3 kitties with avengence and left them to the hands of Iams.

At least Baxter isn't so pissed off at me, or knocking random things off of counters. And I may have diffused his urge to pee on something of mine in his kitty fury.

Summer to do list

Now that the emo days of winter have finally found it's rest. In winter's short and hurried 3 month hibernation, I am happy to say there will be no more depressing or "I was saying boo-urns" blogs.

Now everybody dance!!! :)

Today is the day I make the "summer to do list" and hopefully will accomplish more than none this year. :)

1. GO TO YOGA!

2. Go to Krav Maga with Shawni <--- which this will happen I'm sure since I have a buddy who will undoubtedly make me go!

3. Stop being a pussy and make it all the way up the ramp AND back down. I'm fully aware that half way up and down doesn't count for much, but pussiness.

4. Do an olley. while moving.

5. Start jogging? I'm still uncertain about this.

6. buy a new rug.

7. de-fatty my cat.

8. Stop hoarding clothes I will never ever ever wear again, because let's face it, you will never paint your whole house anytime soon, so stop saving them for this non-existent purpose.

9. Save at least a 1,000

10. lose ten pounds. <-----It's always my goal to lose ten pounds. Whether Todd thinks I should or not.

extra points goal------> Accomplish at least 2 of these this summer! :)

yay for me!